Fable 3
5 / 10


"Meh".

Stuff you should know:

Good!

- You do a stint as King of Albion! Unique decision making - forces you into a much different mindset.

- The Aurora desert darkness sequences were truly scary and emotional.

- It's much, much easier to be an evil dick and still win and be awesome.

- The music was excellent.

- Cool rebellion theme


Bad

- It's pretty much exactly the same as the other Fables

- Character voice / mouth synch is atrocious

- Combat isn't nearly as fun or as fluid as Fable 2

- Social interactions with NPCs are reduced to button A "nice" social and button B "bad" social. Shit got weird when I had to start hugging men to gain faction with them.

- No HP bar. Had to guess when to use potions.

- Magic animations didn't scale with level - a 15 second charged fireball looked exactly the same as a tapped fireball. Disappointing.

- Magic AOEs targeted a maximum of 3 enemies, regardless of level of spell. That was annoying.

- Short.

- One different enemy added to this one. Fucking seriously, can no one at Lionhead studios afford to model some different fucking enemies? That's 3 games now we've been fighting bandits and balverines, for the love of christ. I can only imagine what the budget for Fable 3 was.

I bet that board meeting went like this:

"Ok thank you all for being here today. So Phil and I were talking and we think we could do another Fable. We're going to sell this half pack of gum we found in Cindy's purse and use that as our budget for the game, and then lie to some homeless dudes and tell them we have coffee and doughnuts to do our voice acting. What do you all think? Yeah, Bob."

"Shouldn't we, like, I don't know, do something different this time around? Like maybe add some fresh new game play mechanics or sequences, something to really catch the eye of our players."

"Bob if we did that, would it still be a Fable? Yeah I don't think so. Next question. Yeah, Cindy."

"I'm actually chewing a piece of this gum, so there's only 3 sticks left. Is that going to be enough to sell for our budget?"

"It might be a little tight but we can make it. Yeah, Bob again."

"I'm just saying, maybe our fans deserve something for the $60 we're going to charge them for the game. Sure, killing balverines is fun for awhile, but we really could stand to add some variety and length to this stuff. You know, make it epic, like an actual Fable."

"Bob do you think we have the money to do that? I mean look at our budget. You and I both know people are going to buy it just because it's a Fable game, we could re-package donkey kong and call it "Fable: The monkey story" and people would eat it up. We gotta look out for our investors too you know Bob, we can't just go willy-nilly developing good quality games or something, that would cost way too much money. Anyway, thank you all for coming to the meeting, we'll have the details hammered out by our unpaid intern and the homeless guys we're bribing. Good job everybody!"

it almost seems like its not worth your time to post these elaborate reviews here.

It's not, I guess. I don't know I feel obligated to because I've done the others. This one was a lot less elaborate than my others at least